Thursday, November 27, 2008

Turkey



We're slightly horrified by this undoubtedly well-intentioned tableaux, for several reasons.

- The cadaver-like skin tone of the gents in the foreground, their gaping maws, and their sightless eyes, seem to indicate that they're less interested in eating the turkey than in eating your very souls.

- It's one thing to wear clothing that's too tight; it can be chalked up to an accident, or unexpected weight gain, or, given the tough economic situation, a lack of funds to replenish your FCUK/A&F/H&M/AX coffers. It's something else altogether to intentionally paint your subjects' clothing too tight (and to make them appear to be fashioned of rubber). We won't even discuss the disturbingly out-of-place chest hair that the Hostess with the Mostess is sporting.

- And, finally -- is that a cranberry "sauce" mold we see on the table? A cloved ham with pineapple rings? Sweet potatoes with mini marshmallows??? It looks as if the cast of Queer as Folk stepped into a dining room set styled for a Very Special Thanksgiving episode of That 70's Show. Do you really think that any of these queens would dare touch broccoli covered with ten pats of butter, unless it were organic soy lactose-free almond butter? We didn't think so.

But the sentiment this illustration expresses is a nice one: Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks. Thanks for your loved ones; thanks for your families (blood and chosen); and thanks for the fact that we live in a free society where bitter gay bloggers can make snarky comments about bad gay commercial art Norman Rockwell rip-offs. (Say that three times fast.)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

5 comments:

  1. You forgot to mention that they are drinking a red wine with poultry! And I don't think it's a pinot....hmmmm!

    Have a fabu Thanksgiving.

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  2. I WAS going to mention that, Scooter; and then I recalled all the times that I guzzled red wine at Thanksgiving dinners, simply because it was THERE, and decided to cut some slack!

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  3. I give thanks for you and your clear-eyed commentary.

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  4. Yikes! Those eyes are scary! When Mr. Rockwell originally designed the line of vision in his painting he wanted the viewer to feel like a guest seated at the head of the table, not like another entree in the buffet!

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  5. what a gay, horny thanksgiving portrait. what bliss...

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